PunkRoctorok

Go look at it. It's my ID picture on here.
















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My face face is naked, anyway.

Hey guys, after a very long period of inactivity, almost a year, I've decided to start becoming active here on dA again. I look forward to catching up (if any of you remember me that is).

Im going through a difficult time in my life and so have decided to void myself of all wasteful, harmful distractions and pursue artistic creativity. I closed my Facebook and am going to play video games way less. I plan on exploring photography, short film making, and of course my original passion writing. I also may dabble in some stuff like paint or pencil art, but don't expect anything wonderful. This is for my own creative outlet, to keep me sane and enrich my soul.

Im still a fan of MLP and the Elder Scrolls, the two main sources of artworks I browsed in here via group watches, but I have unsubscribed from several of them for simply the overwhelming quantity of works which I can not always be viewing and then deleting from notifications. Also a lot of groups post the same work that is in other groups. So all in all it will probably be only two groups per franchise I watch. Of course my favorite DA friends I will keep watching.

I don't know if anyone will even read this, remember me, or care, but I'm back to DA and expect a more substantial output in artistic work than ever before!

Yes, I'm finally getting to move out of my small hick town and to a big city. I'm super excited, like you don't even know! I'm head to the University of Kentucky. They have a massive campus and 20,000+ students. There is so much going on there, so many different kinds of people. I'm very hopeful about my ability to find new people to meet and become friends with, new things to do I've never experienced here. I feel like my adult life is about to start! (well, it already has, sorta, but this is a big new chapter)

NOTE: There are no spoilers in this journal. If you want to discuss spoilers in the comments please use this tag: *SPOILERS*

I don't know what else to say besides this game is phenomenal. I had been highly anticipating it for years, with all the development demos and delays it received. I was a little skeptical the last few months, seeing new final-product footage in the various trailers, skeptical maybe that made it too similar to modern gaming trends. However, with years to work on it and no multiplayer, it was bound to be a well crafted experience.

And it was. The setting is very rich in its use of late 19th century white chauvinist ideas. They are very blatant with their xenophobia and racism in the city, and I'm not just saying that from a simple observer's perspective. As a history major and lover, they nailed ideas of racial purity and white spiritualism to a T.

The game play was really fun. The gun-plasmid combat is back, and while some older abilities like telekinesis or hacking things isn't there, some of the new powers are REALLY cool, like Tears and the Skylines. There are a lot more guns, and though they break away from the first game's classic shooter inventory of being able to carry every gun at once, the two gun limit helps keep the game play challenging as it has in other modern games that have used the same approach.

And the story. Well, while the other areas of the game are awesome, the story is by far the best part. Sci Fi twists on par with the original game, though the story is engaging throughout, instead of being a "kill the bad guy" mission after the big twist in the first one. The final scene...is so wonderfully chilling, sad, and beautiful. Possibly the best I've ever seen in a videogame. A lot of loose ends from on-screen action are tied up through audio diaries, so be sure to pay attention to those or the conclusion will REALLY confuse you.

I'll give this game a 9.5 out of 10, because it was such a unique and revolutionary experience, with one of the best stories in fiction I've experienced in a while. Not a full 10 because some parts of the action seemed a slight bit redundant and like they could have been more unique encounters, as well as some technical issues like voices not always syncing with lips (especially when Elizabeth was throwing me supplies). But a 9.5 sufficiently awards the monumental achievement of this game.

Hello all (the 3 people who might read this). Just thought I'd update on how my life has been going since I've posted some very intense journals regarding my existence in the past.

My mood has been up and down. I'm still into my recovery from porn and doing pretty well with it I think. I miss it of course, but ya know you love something that makes you feel good eh? It's been difficult, especially with my poor social life these last few months. I don't talk to any girls in person anymore hardly, and very few through electronic channels.

I've been looking for a job with no success. I even hit up a temp agency for a factory that has had job listings for months and they weren't able to give me an interview, though there is another lead on that I'm going to follow up tomorrow. I REALLY need work, as I don't do anything but sit at home because I didn't enroll in school this semester, as I had done pretty much all any person can do there before going to a university. Now I need money to go to a university in the fall, which requires a job and saving up. I don't care to work at a factory with hardshifts, as I do nothing and am sick of my life going nowhere as it has been since I graduated from highschool (aside from a couple of great semesters in school). Plus they pay quite well starting out.

And the thing about money is ridiculous anyway. My mom works for an extension of the university I plan to go to, and so I get 50% off tuition. Yea, 50. That is a lot of money. And yet my mom thinks with this plus student loans I won't be able to afford to go. I mean sure I'd need to get a job up there as well to live day to day, but still...I know people poorer than me who go to college and don't have complete scholarships. I'm 21 and ready to grow up, but I live in a piece of shit part of the world where hiring is based solely on knowing people or experience. And since I have no job experience (because no one will ever hire me) I can't get a job. Well I did work off the books for some old disabled dude over the summer, and I have volunteered some, so I have that on my resume.

I'm thinking I may also be addicted to videogames. I'm being serious guys. I have such little ambition a lot of times. I'm not motivated to write like I should be. Videogames are easier entertainment. A friend of mine once said I needed to find an artistic part of myself to expression passion about and that would lead me to self fulfillment and make a mate want to seek me out.

I don't want me unsatisfactory life to go on for years. A dear friend of mine is near 30 and she has struggled with internal issues like depression as well as substance abuse for years, long past my age now. I want to learn a lesson from her example, and not go down that road. I want the me of the future not so easy to crack, and accomplished, and someone people desire. It's been a rough journey and will remain rough. here's to the white city on the horizon.